“A couple of months back, a chap named Simon “Pee-Pee” Harris lost his wallet. Luckily for us, the person that found the wallet posted about it on Craigslist, enlightening us all to the enigma that is Pee-Pee. Pee-Pee’s a complicated fellow; a man of contradictions. He’s a sexually promiscuous weed-smoker, and a member of the Conservative Party. He’s also a white supremacist, which didn’t much impress the person who found the wallet; they kindly offered to throw a party in his honor, with “music, games, fags, dykes, people of indeterminate-at-a-glance gender, blacks, asians, [and] indians (both kinds!)” We never found out if Pee-Pee showed up to the party, but we can only imagine the good times that ensued. Pee-Pee is a villain of 2007 because he’s a racist, and because his name is Pee-Pee, but mostly because we’re hoping the embarrassment of having this posted about twice will encourage him to see the error of his ways. It’s a new year, Simon. Let’s leave Pee-Pee behind in 2007.”